Sunday, June 10, 2007

Ekta Kapoor's List of Formulae

The content is not composed by me...

Here is a list of the maximum Formulas and Twists of Balaji:

First of all I want too add those points which I mentioned in my post “SOME COMMON BALAJI ADULT FORMULAS:

1. if a woman loves a man but the man doesnt loves her. then the girl first attracts him, one night make him drink alcohol, then makes him sleeps with him. and makes sure that when they are sleeping people watches them. on morning when the man wakes up she says MAIN KISI KO NAHI BALAOON GI. YEH GHALAT HOWA.

2. pretend to be pregnant after the above point. and through this pregnancy natak. makes hi marry her

3. in balaji soaps pregnancy is not of 9 months. in case of MEHAK (KTH) she was pregnant for 17 months i guess. Tanya of KYUNKI... was preganat for almost a year. Kumkum was Preganat for 2 years.

4. people always do engagments but never do amrriages. Examples are ANJALI YUG (KA) ANGAD KANAN KRIPA NISHANT(KYPH)

5. No couple makes love on suhag raat. although the madly love each other.

6. doctor says to a women that she can never be pregnant. but as soon as she adopts a baby or do sum thing else she becomes pregnat Ganga (KYUNKI...)

7. if a doctor says that a man is incapable of producing children. it is never true. EX, HARSH (kyunki...)

8. f u amrry some one for Revenge, then revenge ends on the night when the husband tries to Rape her wife.

9. Blaji women can never give SAFE BIRTH to child. har bacha peda hote hi chori ho jata hai. I think there should be police on hospital to prevent stealing of children.

10. in every show there should be 1 totally ilicit child. 1 lost child. and many many childrens who are from other parents.

11. Husband is RAM wife is SITA but marriages are always above 2.

Here is a list of other points:

1.Baa is Immortal. She is actually 250 years old. But no matter what her age is she always gets the room upstairs. She is a ATHLETIC BAA. I wonder how does she climb the stairs.

2.There is always a party going on in Balaji serials. I wonder how rich they are that they afford all the parties. And in every party something happens. May be a good thing or Bad.

3.Balaji Parivaars are so rich that they afford all those court cases. Every year there are at least 2 court cases in serial.

4.“Rape”. Every Balaji serial has RAPES. And in every rape the woman is rapped with her clothes on. I wonder How does the Rapist does the Rape? Nandani was rapped with her jeans on. When Mukhti was rapped, Sharad was buttoning his shirt instead of his jeans.

5.In Kahin Toh Hoga, the theme of the show was, there is someone made for every one on this earth!!. This is a case of excesses. Everyone is made for everyone. Sujal is made for Kashish, Charu and Archita. Rishi is made for Mehak and Mouli and all other girls in the vicintiy. Charu is made for Akshat and Tusshar. Kashish is for Piyush and Sujal and Tusshar and Angad..... and hopefully, the list should end there.

6.No matter Pati (husband) is lost Still patni is loaded with jewellery. In case of Kashish, she was looking more beautiful when her Husband was lost.

7.Multiple marriages. There are atleast 10 marriages in every serial. In case of KYUNKI… in the whole show there are more than 10 marriages.

8.KKusum, less said the better. Will Abhay Kapoor please tell us, how many times was he actually married and when and to whom all and who, He considers to be his wife?
Will Lovers ever meet in "K"ekta world. Will Akshat ever realise his love... or with passing times, he will just change his love

9.Even if u watch the seral for 5 years, u will still not be sure that; “ IS HE THE REALL CHILD OF HIS / HER” in Kahaani… after 4 5 years we came to know that Shruti is not the real daughter of OM.

10.Half of india’s Population is in BALAJI PARIVAAR. Every couple has 3 or more children.

11.We are never sure whether the person is dead or alive. RISING FROM THE DEAD, PLASTIC SURGORY … are common. In seconds, Dead = ALIVE and Alive = DEAD.

12.No one dies a NATURAL DEATH in Balaji soaps. Om, Kavya were first given NATURAL DEATH but later they gave a twist by saying that OM and KAVYA are murdered.

13.Marriages of the main leads are infinite times. There is n't a single husband in her serial who has not had only 1 lover in his life.

14.There is no end to KAMEENA PAN, BEGHAIRATi, BE SHARMI,, in the character of Vamps. They are sooo Zalil kind of women that every time they lose, but still get ready for their next War.

15.Almost all the girls in the main lead have so many children yet when they look so slim.

16.The main person who drags the serial is not the Lead actor or actress, it is the VAMP. A Vamp looks like as if she is going to a wedding. She is loaded with jewelry.

17.Abhay in "kkusum" has been maarried at least 5 times or 6 ? oh gosh i dun think abhay needs a pandit at his nxt wedding...he cud recite the mantras himself wid his xperience

18.No matter what your age is in Balaji serial, you can marry anyone. No end of falling in LOVE.

19.The person who is being accused never gets a chance to ay; “PLEASE MERI BAAT SUNO”

20.Every Ekta serial starts off very interestingly .. with a bang.. wow.. but ends up like the same old story .. for example, Kaisa Yeh Pyar Hai was different but for those who have watched shows like Kahin To Hoga or KUTUMB can switch off there TV's now.. history gonna repeat ... kripa will marry angad to teach him a lesson.. tht's wht kasshish and gauri did :P

21.There is only on hospital in MUMBAI “LIFE CARE HOSPITAL”. Lol

22.The Dr. in “life care hospital” are so good and experienced that they give the news of Pregnancy by just Touching the stomach. Life care hospital will do surgery and change it to someone else face if someone goes there after an accident.. Life care hospital can never give DNA reports correctly.. they are always confused

23.The Best thing abt K Soaps is that , we dont need to spare time for all her shows.. we can watch just one show and get to know what happens in all her shows... coz all shows wud be the same ...
Who are Tulsi's actual children Has Ekta finally made out Shobha to be some adopted child or no? becos that seems next on the cards. It appears that Balaji heroines can never keep their children safe at birth. Anyone and everyone can just take them anytime.

25.Thanks to Ekta Mai, all of us know all the festivals, minor or major, celebrated by all communities in INDIA We know all the rituals that go into a holi, engagement, durga puja, karva chauth, Maatarani ki puja, dasshera, diwali, wedding, god bharai, delivery, bache ka naam karan, birthday, and of course Death. Each of these rituals have been shown so elaborately, especially the death ones, that now we should all know the Mantras by heart (btw the Mantras she uses in her shows are not the right ones

26.Adultery is most common in the shows. Every father, be it OM or Mihir or Chetan Garewal, who will win the best pati in one years "Star Parivaar Awards" will turn out to be a bigamist the next year. Not a single hero is spared of this adultery.

27.The very important, Private and confidential File or papers never reach to the true person. Instead they come in the hands of the Vamp or Villain.

28.All the Balaji women become Pregnant in just one night S**.

29.There is always a lost child who is found and lost and found again and lost ..and ...

30.No one waits for the marriage. They always do Pre Marital Sex.

31.No one does the abortion in Balaji. This is the main problem.

32.Some usually watch the Monday and Friday episodes as they have the main thing the episodes in between frm Tue to Thu are just dragging what hpnd on Monday.

33.The police just comes and arrests a Millionaire with any arrest warrant.

34.God knows from where the illicit children come out?

35.Miscarriages happen at the drop of a coin. Deliveries of long pregnancis might not happen, but miscarriages will definitely happen, especially if it is the lead heroine in question. .

36.No one is given a complele EXIT in the serial. Even a character may return to the serial after 4 years.
37. happens to the lead female or male characters..there is always the trademark song for every serial In KTH, it's Thoda sa pyar hua tha.. thoda hai baaki... In Kesar, Bepanha pyar hai aaja.. In KYPH, Zindagi mein koi kabhi aaye na rabba and now in Kammal, Oh raahi oh raahi, In Kasamh se, Meri Duniya hai tujhme kahin ..

38.“THE AGE FACTOR”. The biggest Question is WHAT IS MR. BAJAJ’S AGE. When Bajaj entered the serial his age was abt 45(minimum age). Then after 8 year leap his age was 53. After 3 year leap his age was 56. After 20 year leap his age was 76. after 5 year leap his age was 81. BUT HE NOT EVEN LOOKS LIKE 60. HE IS SO SYLISH, SEXY.

39.A woman of 50 year can have a child. In KYUNKI… Meera blamed that KT is Tulsi’s daughter.

40.Before pregnancy, After pregnancy, During pregnancy THE WOMAN LOOKS THE SAME. Slip trip sexy smart beautiful.

41.the sex-age of a man is looooong lasting in Balaji. Mr. Bajaj is the fater of Kasak. He must be around 56 58 when Kasak and Tanisha were born

42.There is a mystery in KASAUTI… “ THE LAL DUPATTA”. Some time the LAL DUPATTA is with Anurag, Some times with Prerna some times with Sneha Some times with Bajaj.

43.Anyone's face which has gone thru plastic sugery.....forget face , their entire physique changes.

ex. in kkussum, mansi was soo fat and after her plastic cut and paste she is changed to shilpa who has a well toned body and not only that her height is also different and her voice too.

44.No woman in Balaji call her Husband “ suniye ji” or “aap” the patni is always shouting taking the name of her Husband. MIHIRRRR, KAVYAAAAA, ANGAAAD.


46.No one dares to ask abt the kundali in Balaji.

47.Characters get lost. In KYUNKI… abt 20 characters are lost.

48.When nothing is left in story they again bring the VAMP or villain back

49.THE BALAJI WOMAN is never alone. She gets plenty of men all the time.

a) be bad. being good isnt going to get you anywhere.
b) forget your morals, yor values and your culture. indulge in pre marital sex. its okay if you are in love and are 18. after all love ke liye kuch bhi karega !
c) Marriages are not for keeps. It is not a sacred institution. Dont compromise ad please dont adjust.
d) Donot start lfe after the death of your husband. Though widow re marrriages are permissible, the real truth is that a woman has no rght to be sekf independent and start life afresh. Se has to get marred again!
e) If you are friends with a guy who is your pillar of strength and support, the ultmate truth is that you are going to end up with me. a girl and a guy can never be friends. Platonic friendship can never exist.
f) a woman needs a guy to help her move on....she cant move ahead on her steam
g) extra marital affairs are okay...after all its all about having fun!
h) dont take ore cautions while having pre marital sex!
i) tough pregnany is just a repurcussion of te mistake one makes, if you are unmarried ad around the age of 18, please bring this child into the world! after allwe want indias ever rising population to rise
thats all i could thing of right now.....will add more later as and when i thinkof more lessos!!!

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